2019: Lessons Learned
2019 has been a wild ride. From my ups and downs in my career to my trials and tribulations in personal life. To the memories, I made and the things I learned and unlearned along the way. To someone mistaking me for the comedian Pete Davidson, to me going along with it and taking a picture with them, #SNL. I learned a lot this year about history, current events, and myself. Here are a few pieces of advice and a recap of the last year of the decade from my perspective. I feel my experiences or advice might help someone who was/is dealing with the same things I've dealt with. If it helps at least one person, that's a victory in my mind.
Things I Learned Even More So In 2019:
It's ok to cut people off. Some people might say they're your friend, despite what their actions are telling you or others around you. If a friend isn't adding any value to your life, but they remain a consistent part of it, that isn't a friendship, it's a toxic relationship. Sometimes it's better to have one less friend than to lose yourself in the process. People come and go in life all the time. Think about who you hung out with or talked with just two years ago. I bet a lot would say they've lost touch with a few of those who they associated with at one time. It happens, and it's ok. You got to put yourself first, and if a friendship isn't helping your mental health or you find out that person was just a shitty friend, move on. When people show you their true colors, don't become color blind.
Work on yourself. I've been on this journey the last few years of improving myself. Whether it's been mental health, physical health, learning more, disconnecting, or reconnecting with things I love. While I've made some great strides, I acknowledge I have much more work to do. I need to work on letting things go. I still replay arguments or conversations in my head from YEARS ago, wishing I would have said something different. That's not healthy to have that plaguing my thought process. I find it super irritating that I put myself through that. I definitely need to go back to therapy. It's good to vent to a professional about stuff you're unhappy about. They can give you unbiased advice and help you may have never considered. Investing in yourself is the best thing you can do in a taxing and exhausting world.
Live more like a dog. No, I don't mean licking your balls or turning in circles for treats. When I say live like a dog, I mean to live more simplistic. Dogs own the key the happiness, while many of us are behind the lock. Dogs always value the time they spend with loved ones, they live in the moment, and the simplest of things, like a squeaky toy, can make their day. Life is complicated for their human counterparts, but we can sure learn a few things from our furry friends.
Value your loved ones even more. It's funny how when you're younger, life was about partying and being away from home. When you get older, that dynamic shifts…at least for me, it did. I was lucky enough to have great parents and a great support system and that still applies to me now as an adult. I've missed out on opportunities to take a vacation with my parents for the last couple of years, and I regret that. I'm going to change that in 2020. You never know when it might be the last time you see someone. I knew two people who died by suicide in 2019, unexpectedly. Seeing their family comment on their social media pages about how they miss them will make you cherish those who are still around.
Continue to humble yourself. Nothing will humble you more than being around people who have way less than you. When I did a story recently at a homeless shelter, it's a stark reminder of the curse of poverty. It's tough to digest living that way. I don't consider myself to have much of an ego, but whenever I need to check it, I think of things like that.
Goals I Set On January 1st:
Get a new job
Build a consistent workout routine
Finish my short film, "Hiking Buds"
Read one book a month
Hike a 14er
Go on at least two trips with loved ones
Pay off debt
Spend less time on social media
Results of those 2019 goals:
Got a new job.
Not as consistent as it should be, probably need to hire a personal trainer to keep me motivated.
The short film is nearly done, but I'm continuing to learn new editing effects and techniques, so I'll continue to spice it up.
Only read seven books this year, slacking.
Hiked Mt. Quandry back in October!
I went on a trip to New Mexico, and the Grand Canyon then went to Glenwood Springs.
Paid off.
Deleted social media off my personal phone besides Instagram, so definitely less time spent.
I'm sharing this because I always enjoy going back and seeing which goals I set and which ones I achieved. Give it a try on January 1st, it's fulfilling to know you were productive in that manner when you update it throughout the year.
My New Year's Resolution:
Was to learn Spanish with the help of Rosetta Stone. I failed badly at that, will have to try again in the future.
Favorite Quote of the Year:
"Don't die dumb." - Humble the Poet.
Favorite Book of the Year:
Another Day in the Death of America: A Chronicle of 10 Short Lives by journalist Gary Younge. We often hear of gun violence but not so much about the lives of the people who died from it. Younge picked one day, which happened to be 11/23/13, and wrote about those fatally shot. Every day seven children and teens are killed by guns. So for this book, he picked teenagers and young kids to write about.
The process included searching for those who died, then traveling to their residence. Once there, he began talking with their family and friends about what happened and their life. Also discussing the impacts their death had on the families. There were instances of a 9-year-old fatally shot by his mom's ex. A teen fatally shot walking down the street wearing the wrong color in a gang neighborhood. Two instances of kids playing around with guns and the gun either going off or them not knowing the gun was loaded when pulling the trigger. Others were guilty of just hanging with the wrong crowd. There were so many gut-wrenching stories of these young people who died for no good reason. This also told the story of parents trying to better their child's lives and how they dealt with the aftermath. Parents working two jobs and weren't 100% aware of what was going in their child's life. Others who were helping their kids get on the right track. Parents who loved their kids dearly.
Saying that parents need to be better parents by being more involved in their children's lives is an easy argument to make. In a lot of cases that is true, but the issue of young people dying from guns goes far beyond parenting. This book shows how parks, youth clubs, and other facilities in deprived areas are of poor quality or nonexistent. Schools, where these shootings were happening, were often a low standard or unsafe. If poor parents can't afford a car, they can't go to places like a museum or other attractions. If they do have a vehicle, such attractions are too expensive, and low-income families can't go anyways. Great book, very eye-opening, 10/10.
Favorite Show of the Year:
Mr. Robot, Season 4, Episode 13. I won't spoil it for anyone, but Mr. Robot is probably my favorite show of all time. I've watched Breaking Bad, The Wire, The X-Files, but I feel Sam Esmail's creation is at the top. The best episode of the last season was the final show. So many plot twists, and after hoping it wasn't going to end a certain way that so many other movies have, only to find out that it didn't was such a relief. One quote from the show I wanted to highlight was during the last moments of the show, where the main character Elliot said, "What if changing the world is just about being here? By showing up no matter how many times we get told we don't belong? By staying true even when we're shamed into being false? By believing in ourselves even when we're told we're too different?" That's a cool way to look at change because it's more practical. You don't necessarily have to be a leader to change the world. Not everyone has feet for leadership shoes, but just by continuing to fight back in a world that wants to hold you down can mean just as much. I hope many people share that mindset heading into the new year.
Conclusion
I've seen some posts on social media about how 2019 was a rough year. It's different for everyone. Many people faced many different challenges. If I've learned anything from 2019, it's not to settle. In relationships, in your career, in your everyday life. Once you settle, it seems to be guaranteed you'll regret it later on. I wish you all well, cheers to 2020!
