Combatting Suicide: What Can You Do to Help?
“I’ve had a good run — why not just do this stupid thing, this selfish thing… jump off a cliff into water of indeterminate depth.”
I always imagined him going out a different kind of way. Overdosing on drugs while having a threesome with two college aged girls was what I thought. What a way to go out if you did die like that! But suicide? Never did that cross my mind for someone who was living an AMAZING life. Traveling the world, experiencing so many different cultures, meeting so many famous people, being a great writer, an amazing chef, hosting a TV show, wealth, the list goes on. I recently saw pictures of him not that long ago with his girlfriend who is 42 hanging out at a beach. This guy was 61. That’s what made Anthony Bourdain’s apparent suicide so shocking. Why would you want to kill yourself when you’re living a life others would kill to have? Just like subtraction, this scenario doesn’t add up.
Bourdain said some questionable things in the past that had raised a warning. In February he told People magazine "there have been times, honestly, in my life that I figured, ‘I’ve had a good run — why not just do this stupid thing, this selfish thing… jump off a cliff into water of indeterminate depth.” My reaction after reading that is just like the title of Kendrick Lamar's last album, Damn.
Looking back, I’ve said I wanted to jump off a cliff before. Most recently after my asshole neighbor woke me up mowing his lawn at 6 AM one morning. Then it went from me wanting to kill myself, to me wanting to kill him instead. I’m happy to report I didn’t do either, because I didn’t actually mean it. If you read those Bourdain comments back in February you most likely sat back and thought, oh he doesn’t mean that. He wouldn’t do that because he lives an incredible life! Until he actually did what you thought he wouldn’t fathom. The sad thing about this whole story is that it's not just Bourdain. Since 1999, suicide rates in the US have risen nearly 30%, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Within those stats, nearly every state in the nation has seen a rise over that same period.
It all points to the fact that we really don’t know what goes on in each other’s minds. We think we do, but we really don’t. We can guess, and might be close, but still can’t be certain. If Miss Cleo couldn’t read minds, no one can! You never know what kind of issues, or personal struggles people deal with. You never know how hard it may be for some people just to get out of bed in the morning and take on the world. We as people love to cover things up, makeup is a perfect example of that. Some people wear so much damn makeup to the point their own mother wouldn’t recognize them. Others have perfected the craft of masking their true emotions, an emotional makeup if you will. “Everything is good,” might be the biggest lie told in society today. Many people are not good. Many people are dealing with mental health issues. Many people need help, and that help can come in form of just having someone to talk to.
I saw this the other day in downtown Grand Junction, CO. This was the same day as the news of Anthony Bourdain's suicide broke. Yes it is graffiti (which is wrong), but to look at it as just that may be closed minded. This person is dealing with something and may just need someone to talk to.
We all need to do better as family, friends, or just as human beings of talking to each other. Take your eyes off your phone, and remove your headphones. We are so connected through technology, that the disconnection face to face is incredible. It can be hard to talk on the phone in the era of texting, but for someone in need, it can be exactly what they need. I for one, can do a much better job of talking to people. I openly acknowledge that I hate talking on the phone. I use to work for a call center for Sprint dealing with idiots over the phone everyday that made me hate answering a call. Someone once asked me how many text messages came with their 300 text messaging plan? I thought it was a damn joke…it wasn’t. I need to get over that. Since the news of Bourdain, I’ve made an effort to reach out to friends I haven’t spoken with in a while, just to see how they are. Even the ones who are doing well, because you never really know. I hope you do the same.
Who knows if Anthony Bourdain would still be alive today if he had someone to talk to? Or Kate Spade, or the non famous person that committed suicide you’ll never hear about. Maybe they did have someone to chat with, and it didn’t help. We don’t know. The only thing we all can try to work on going forward is being that person to help someone in need. We all need to vent, or cry, or talk things out at some point. Expressing your concerns to someone is so much better when it’s to someone who is listening with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply.
There are too many people hurting in this world and not enough people to hear them out. Not everyone has insurance to help cover the cost of seeing a therapist. Or has the money to pay for a session even when they do have insurance. A 2014 study in JAMA Psychiatry showed only 55% of psychiatrists accept insurance plans, compared to 89% of other healthcare professionals, like cardiologists, dermatologists, and podiatrists. Out of pocket money for a session can add up quickly. So while everyone may not be a therapist, everyone has time. Whether it's a couple minutes or 30 minutes to talk, you have it. You never know who may be hurting, and with a case like Anthony Bourdain, those in the most pain may be the ones we never expect it to be. The only way to combat that issue is through conversation, talking about a topic that can be hard to talk about.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
