Hating is Exhausting

"Males shouldn't be jealous that's a female trait, what you mad cause you push dimes and he sells weight?" - Jay-Z

Jealousy isn't just a female trait, and it doesn’t just stem from drug dealing. I've never sold drugs in my life (that's for you, mom). It did cross my mind once that it could be a dope way to make money when I was young. Then I thought about standing on the corner and hearing Omar's whistle from “The Wire.” Thinking of that subtle sound made me backpedal faster than a republicans stance on abortion after impregnating his secretary. I've had my fair share of hating ass moments filled with jealousy. There have been multiple times where if someone told me "hi hater," I wouldn't have just said hello back. I would have broadcasted it through a megaphone with a giant cutout of "HELLO" behind me with flashing lights bright enough to cause several seizures. Now that I'm in my 30s, I don't hate as much as my previous decade. However, I've noticed a big difference in it. Being jealous and hating in my 20s was fun at times. But for the older me, it's exhausting. Case in point is the comedian Andrew Schulz.

I've always been a big fan of satire. Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, and John Oliver monologues kept me glued to the TV. Even as an atheist, I watched or still watch their shows religiously. Inspired by them, I created my own satire show called "2Cent BeatDown" in college. I was working in student media, chasing my journalism degree. Thanks to that, I had a professional TV studio to use, and that I did. It got to a point where I knocked out a 30-minute show every two weeks. I wrote, produced, and edited the entire thing. I did stories on why Americans shouldn't eat so much meat. Why Trump messed up red hats for everyone, and how anyone can be a mumble rapper. I stayed up long nights writing and producing that content on top of everything else. I was a full-time college student, had a part-time job, and had another full-time job keeping my girlfriend at the time happy. However, I pushed myself to work on my show since I looked at it as a future career. I mailed demos of my work to “The Daily Show” with the goal of one day being a correspondent. After college, I lost that professional studio but not the work ethic. I went on a shopping spree on Amazon and built a small home studio. It later disappointed me to find out I helped fund space travel for millionaires, but that's another story. I would then pick a current event, create the graphics, and record it. I continued to mail in pieces for a couple more years but never heard back. Nothing ever blew up on social media either so it was discouraging to watch these videos I spent hours making not get the time of the day. My brain and my heart started to move on from that dream.

During this time, I was a dedicated listener to the "Brilliant Idiots" Podcast with Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz. I followed both of them on Instagram, and that's when Schultz posted something that struck my hatin' ass nerve. A video of a satire piece he and his team created. I watched it and laughed. Deep down, I knew it was good. However, my pride wouldn't allow me to say it out loud. Then Schulz posted another one, and another, and another. Like a steak with no red, they were all well done. The funny thing is, if you were to ask me about it, I wouldn't have regurgitated that feeling to you. Then he dropped his special "Schulz Saves America" on Netflix, a collection of satire pieces on the biggest streaming platform. The thought of "screw that, I'm not watching it" entered my mind. I worked my ass off for years creating an entire show, and this guy comes out of nowhere with this same concept and gets a special out of it? Meanwhile, I didn't get a callback, nor did any of my videos take off. Those thoughts transformed me into full hater mode. I let the special and Netflix collect digital dust. Then CTG and Schulz would talk about the special on their podcast, which made me fast forward through those conversations. I didn't want to hear any mention of this special because the whole topic was as touchy as Larry Nassar.

I've always been a fan of Jay-Z. It baffles me when someone says they like hip-hop, but they don't like him. It would be similar to liking Mexican food but disliking tacos. I'd constantly get into debates on social media about Hov. "Do you listen to music, or do you just skim through it!?" His all-time great musical catalogue shouldn't fall on deaf ears. Still, some just wanted to hate saying things like "he stole everything from Biggie," while calling him overrated. Or even things that had nothing to do with his music like "he's too ugly to be with Beyonce." That last one isn't a reason to hate, it's a source of inspiration! In the bigger picture those weak arguments never held any weight. Those reasons ultimately caused those haters to miss out on great music and hours of entertainment. "Those closed-minded morons," I used to think. What a choke-on hater-ade type moment for me to realize I became who I disliked.

Months later, when I was looking for something to watch, a little voice in my head kept telling me to watch "Schulz Saves America." Eventually, I gave in and watched all the episodes in a day and laughed my ass off. There were so many great jokes and probably tons more that went over my head. You could tell a ton of work went into the whole special. Based on my enjoyment, I started telling my friends to watch it. Suddenly I became an advocate for something I was previously hating on. That change lifted a weight off my shoulders. I wasted time fronting on material that ended up being undeniably funny. Life is too short to miss out on things that make us laugh. This experience made me see how exhausting it is to be a hater. I don't know how people like Skip Bayless and Candace Owens do it. I'd much rather spend time doing something more productive with my life than constantly shitting on everything like a pigeon.

This whole reflection also made me realize something else about myself. I hated on "Schulz Saves America" because I was jealous of Andrew getting his show. What I failed to recognize at first was that he was far more deserving of it than I was. Let's start with his following, which was millions of people. Minus my friends and family, no one knew about "2Cent BeatDown." But most importantly, he was so much better at executing those pieces than me. His delivery was crisper, his jokes were funnier, and his graphics and set were better. That's just life, there is always someone better than you at whatever you think you're good at. Unless your name is Michael Jordan when it comes to basketball or Kayne West at being a weirdo. Andrew's content was way better than mine, simple as that. I should have turned my animosity towards his product into making mine better instead of acting like a baby. It's incredible how childish some grown-ups can be, no matter how old we are. So if you find yourself hating on something because you're jealous, there is a question you need to ask yourself. Are you truly more deserving of the opportunity than the person you're jealous of? Just because you work hard at something doesn't necessarily mean you deserve it. Hard work doesn't entitle you to success. There are many other factors at play that will determine if you get that break or not. Once you come to terms with that, you'll be better off.

After the last episode of the special was over, I thought about what else I was missing out on because of hate? I've been a hater of Lebron James since his Miami days. He's in the latter part of his NBA career, and I've never seen this generational talent play in person. I've made it a goal to go to a Lakers game next season. I know I will have a good time and will be excited when the day arrives. Breaking away from this mindset is fulfilling, and I encourage you to do the same.

So, what else do I hate? Anyone who knows me would say country music. So, should I actually give country music a solid try? The answer is still an empathic no. That's one thing I'm cool with being a hater on, regardless. So, fuck you, Luke Bryan! I'll take that one to the grave with me.